Saturday, April 16, 2011

Establishing my Priorities

Wow! It’s been over a month since I have posted anything. I apologize for lacking on my commitments. Life has been a whirlwind for me the last two months and the last thing I wanted to do was slow down, sit and write a post. I also struggled with the fact to write anything of significance and how vulnerable and honest I could be in my posts. I know that I don’t know many of you that well and that is a huge blame on me. I have come to realize that my relationships in Circles are very surfacing and really don’t go beyond lunch conversations and the Saturday roundtables. It’s not that I don’t want to dive into deeper/meaningful relationships with you guys, it’s just that I haven’t really made it a priority in my life. I am the type of person that over commits herself and don’t know when to say no.

Since a very young age I have always been the person in my friend group that has too much on her plate or was “too busy” to play because I had a giant to do list to finish off. Throughout the years I have seen some of my friendships be destroyed by my busyness. Yeah it sucks in the moment to lose a great friendship over stupid stuff, but somehow I’m still so stubborn and refuse to lighten my load because I feel like if I don’t do it, then it will never get done. I make myself feel like I’m irreplaceable; when in reality anyone can come in and do the things I do. It really comes down to me finding value in the things I do, rather than finding my value in God. With having this mentality I limit my view of God and the power that He has. I find myself trying to make God a God of convenience or a what can you do for me God.
The question that I have been battling with for the past week is who do I say God is rather than who is God to me. Although those questions may seem similar, the first question is identifying God for who HE is and not identifying him according to the things he does for me or offers me. My prayer is that I would be awakened to the HOLINESS of God and realize what is most important in my life. The things that the world identifies as success is only mere contentment, but the satisfaction of living in God’s will, will last for eternity and bring so much more joy and peace.

I promise slices, that I will start to put Circles as a priority in life and start to open myself to building relationships with you guys.

14 comments:

  1. Thanks for your honesty. That is so huge that you recognize that busyness can take over in your life. I know that I can get so caught up in the whirlwind of daily life that I do miss out on what is happening around me. God has been showing me that being still and quiet is so important. I hope you find balance and I look forward to getting to know you better as Circles progresses :)

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  2. "The things that the world identifies as success is only mere contentment, but the satisfaction of living in God’s will, will last for eternity and bring so much more joy and peace." YES, wow, this is great. Such truth and so essential to our walks with the Lord. I will be praying for a rested heart that can slow down without feeling unproductive. I know that can be really hard sometimes, but how amazing is it that you've realized that God can use anyone to share in His work? What a lifted burden :) Hope to talk and get to know you more love!

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  3. Hey girl, it's so nice to peek into your life and see what God is up to. Thanks for being vulnerable with us! I understand that tension-so often I need to re-center myself around who God is, rather than who I see him as, or what I want from him. I'll be praying with you through this learning process.

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  4. Adrienne! It was so great to see you yesterday and talk a bit at Circles! Thanks so much for writing this, I can totally relate and know how the struggle can be. Thanks for being honest. It's real. It's good. I can't wait to get to know you more soon! Lets hang out at Brent and Katies! Hope you have a blessed day!

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  5. Thanks so much for the comments guys. I really love all the feedback and prayers! I am so excited to set up times to hang out.

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  6. This is really cool. I've also been falling behind in Circles stuff, but it was good to hear that it's more than just "doing good" in Circles. We are all different and God will use all of us in such amazing ways!

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  7. invite God in to help you say no. : ) because I had to learn myself that even if I say yes to everything I am still saying NO to tons of other things anyway... I am saying no to intentional relationship-building or no to hear God's voice in my life because He needs me to slow down and be still before Him so He can actually talk. through reading His Word, I am noticing anytime it says BE STILL... I immediately feel ahhhhhh and maybe like I am ALWAYS battling that. so I try to say NO to things in my humblest effort to just BE STILL before Him. : ) This is a battle for so many of us in Circles! it comes up all the time which is actually such a beautiful thing when you think about how many people feel that same burden. : ) praying for you and thank you SO much for writing!!

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  8. The distinction you're making between knowing "Who God is" and "Who He is to me" is an important one. When we recognize that God is Who He is, regardless of how we feel about Him, or what He's doing, then we are able to come to Him as He is and not as we'd like Him to be.

    Like the other commenters, I also appreciate your honesty. So glad you're a part of the Circle.

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  9. "The things that the world identifies as success is only mere contentment, but the satisfaction of living in God’s will, will last for eternity and bring so much more joy and peace."

    its so awesome that God has given you insight and wisdom into your situation! great stuff adrienne!

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  10. praying for discipline for you to help with your priorities!

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  11. adrienne, i am seriously so excited about reading this post. i was thinking a couple weeks ago, "hmm, i really don't know anything about her..." and then, through you speaking up during roundtable and our time at the beach, i feel like i'm slowly learning more and i just feel this strange affection for you. i truly hope the things you discuss here become a part of the Spirit changing you. let's hang some time :)

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  12. I can really relate, Adrienne. I do the same exact thing. AND I look at certain things that I do/ people I arrange to meet up with/ commitments I have, and think that unless I do those things and get them done, no one else can do them. That's selfish of me. Busyness can definitely be a foothold of the enemy that he can use to distract you and have you chase this thing that you will never catch, so that you aren't following the path that God has set ahead of you. This was convicting so thank you!

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  13. I feel the same. This is the first blog (other than my own) that I have read in prolly 2 months. All the things I do on a regular basis, like blog, and get to know people on Sat and Sundays are things I do normally. I need to challenge myself to read about your lives, it's so awesome when I do, I just need to overcome the indifference and MAN-UP! :D

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  14. ok, so you wrote this post like a month ago and i am just now commenting. my bad. however, how awesome that i can kind of read it in retrospect and see evidence of how you have become more intentional with us. yaay! praying that God would be glorified in your schedule! you're fabulous-just thought you should know!

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